This posting is only to give you a laugh. It’s far better than the news that focuses on hate and killing.
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Only in LA: Our Cold Property edition
By Steve Harvey | May 15, 2016 10:20 PM
Welcome to the tour, where you’ll get the real dirt on housing in this region.
Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com. His Twitter address is @sharvey9.
Oh, he’ll be great, just like his border wall
by Steve Lopez Contact Reporter and commentator for the Los Angeles Times
This is a really funny, witty column.
We have a very beautiful state here.
Absolutely beautiful.
And people are always saying to me, whether they live in California or they’re visiting from somewhere else in the country or the world, hey, this is fantastic. That’s what they say about California. They’ve never seen anything like it.
Did I mention that it’s huge?
This state is very huge, with lots of mountains, gorgeous mountains. We have the best mountains. And of course — I don’t need to tell you — we have the most wonderful beaches in the world.
I don’t care where you’ve been. The French Riviera. Hawaii. The Caribbean.
Our beaches are the best.
Believe me.
We have top-notch people here, too, with terrific ability, some of them. Very intelligent. They’re making rockets; that’s how smart they are.
And the women — many of the women — are beautiful, the most beautiful women in the world. Best of all, they don’t go around playing the woman card like somebody we know.
Now comes the big question, this being the middle of a presidential campaign:
What’s in store for our great state of California if Donald Trump is elected president of the United States?
I get asked this by readers, some of the best readers, and some of them are speed readers. Brilliant people. Some of them follow me on Twitter — I have great power on Twitter, by the way. I tweet, I get re-tweeted, and my enemies weep. Or call me an idiot, but that’s the way it goes.
California company, Twitter. Not Texas, home of lying Ted, who is hated by everybody.
Everybody hates him! That I can tell you, OK?
Anyhow, getting back to the readers, they want to know what a Trump presidency looks like for the country, but more specifically, they want to know what’s in it for California.
In some respects it’s hard to know, because Trump hasn’t spelled out many policy details, but look at the man’s record of success.
He is rich. Filthy rich.
I rest my case.
You think he got that way not knowing how to run things? His IQ is one of the highest, according to a Tweet he sent out.
The highest! I guarantee it.
So when Trump says he will eliminate the EPA — “What they do is a disgrace” — you have to trust that he has a plan to keep California’s water drinkable and our air somewhat breathable without regulatory oversight.
A vote for Trump is a vote for fresh air.
Some experts argue that his tax cut would blow a $10-trillion hole in the federal budget, and California — with its disintegrating bridges and cratered roads — would suffer a big hit.
But let me tell you something about these so-called experts.
They are low-energy people. They have a lower pulse than this guy Jeb Bush, and they know less than he does. They’re scavengers, really. Worse than the media people, some of whom have blood coming out of their eyes. That’s how horrible they are.
Some analysts will tell you that California, with its terrific amounts of international trade — we’ve got stupendous trade here in God’s country — could be bushwhacked under Trump’s policies. They say his proposed tariff on imported goods could actually cost jobs and lead to higher prices on Asian imports, amounting to a crippling tax on consumers.
Here’s what these haters don’t know, if I can use Trump’s own words:
“I just sold an apartment for $15 million to somebody from China. Am I supposed to dislike them?”
Trump loves China, you know? That’s my point. He loves China — it’s a beautiful thing to watch, people — at least as much as he loves the poorly educated.
And let’s not forget what he said about African Americans.
“I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks.”
A state as diverse as California couldn’t go wrong under the leadership of an enlightened man like Trump, which is why true believers turned out in Costa Mesa on Thursday to cheer their guy.
Sure, there were some rabble-rousers there who don’t like what Trump has said about Latinos or Muslims or women, and police arrested 17 people who got a little out of hand.
But let’s look at the numbers, OK?
Eight thousand rabid supporters.
Seventeen party-poopers.
You don’t have to take my word for it, even though math is one of my strengths — everybody says this about me — but that’s a landslide victory for Donald J. Trump.
The supporters in Costa Mesa could be heard in Tijuana when they roared after Trump’s promises to torture terrorism suspects and make Mexico pay for a border wall, a beautiful wall, and believe me, this man can build tremendous walls.
You know what he’s going to do? I bet he’s going to build walls under the ground to block the tunnels.
That’s what this man is capable of, and as Trump stumps for California votes, I think you’re going to be seeing a lot more of what we saw in Costa Mesa.
These were high-energy supporters who would probably gladly help build the wall themselves. For pesos. Since Mexico’s paying for it.
And then what happens, once the great wall is built?
Deportations, that’s what. By the millions. With President Trump driving the bus himself if Pete Wilson is busy.
A few sniveling softies will argue that it’s inhumane and un-Christian to send dirt-poor families back to countries with even greater poverty and unimaginable levels of violence.
A few mushy-headed economists will argue that California’s huge agriculture industry, to name one of many, would be devastated, with ripple effects throughout the state’s economy.
But these naysayers don’t know what Donald Trump is capable of, and they don’t understand California’s resilience.
We have great resilience in this state. Everybody talks about it.
Costa Mesans can move to Palos Verdes to mow the lawns at Trump’s golf course — these are the greatest links in the world, by the way. Or they can move to Delano to pick lettuce or Oxnard to pluck mushrooms out of the manure.
They would do great in the manure. We have the best manure.
Donald Trump will be president, and we’ll have a sequel to “A Day Without a Mexican,” but this time it’ll be a documentary.
And California will be great again.
Many of you older readers of this blog may remember Mr. Bluster. He was one of the Howdy Doody marionettes. Personally I dislike the show and considered it an insult to the intelligence of most children except perhaps the youngest.
Here is an example of the media managing the news. In an interview with the Washington Post published on Saturday, the billionaire businessman said a combination of high unemployment and an overvalued stock market had set the stage for another economic slump. He put real unemployment above 20 percent.
This prediction was ignored by both CNN and The Los Angeles Times. Not a word was written about this and little was spoken on CNN or ABC World News. The report was on a Reuters web site. Even the Washington Post, while posting their interview with Trump, seemed to downplay his comments about a possible recession.
The likely reason for limited reporting is that the new media does not want to frighten the public. However, Trump’s “tell it like it is” philosophy resulted in his prediction.
There is no indication that we are near or approaching a recession. The stock market has been flat or in decline most of this past twelve months. Perhaps Trump is a fan of Peter Schiff who has been predicting a major economic collapse in 2016. His advertisements are on many web sites. Schiff’s track record has been dismal as pointed out on CNBC. There are warnings on the internet about Schiff who predicted gold would rise to $5,000 an ounce last year.
Reports this past weekend indicated that car sales are at or near an all-time high. 215,000 new jobs were created in March. Unemployment even including those that have given up the search is about 10% according to the BLS. No one knows where Trump obtained his claim that real unemployment is above 20 percent.
Mr. Trump is known as a successful business man but he is not known as an economist.
It is gratifying to learn that everything Mr. Trump says is not repeated by the media.
This tongue in check article was posted on a web site as if it was copied from the Manitoba Herald. That was newspaper that existed only a few months is 1887.
Crisis at the Canadian Border – A Prescient Look at the Consequences of a Republican Win in November
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The Republican Presidential primary campaign is prompting an exodus among left leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and live according to conservative ideas about the Constitution.
Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, global warming activists, and “green” energy proponents crossing their fields at night.
“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just keep coming.
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.
“A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though, and some kale chips.”
When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the Constitution.
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50’s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up all the Barbara Streisand c.d.’s, and renting all the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors do we need in Canada?
The idea of Donald Trump as president of the United States is the same as imagining a cartoon character being depicted as the president. To the best of my knowledge no one has ever done that. Donald Trump is trying.
First consider that Mr. Trump has never held ANY elected office anywhere. He is obviously a smart man in many ways, having built a multibillion dollar business mostly through his own efforts.
In all of his negotiations and business dealings government actions or inactions have been of no consequence to him as long as they did not impact has intentions. As a consequence he was not an expert or perhaps even an interested party in law or international affairs.
Other than his earlier contention that Barack Obama was not a natural born citizen and thus not entitled to hold the presidency (the birther question) he did not appear to give any attention to any government policies.
I am going to build the biggest wall.
They are rapists and murderers.
We must stop all Muslims entering this country until we understand what the hell is going on.
NATO has no value anymore.
South Korea and Japan should have their own nuclear weapons.
Women who have abortions should pay a penalty.
You could not have made this up.
On the Friday night ABC national news there was a report of two men, with backpacks scale a 20 foot was on the border between Arizona and Mexico. It was accomplished in 12 seconds. For reason no one knows the men become concerned and returned to Mexico. The entire event was captured on a monitoring camera.
President Obama commented on Trump’s lack of international knowledge at a news conference on nuclear proliferation. CNN report: President Barack Obama said Donald Trump’s suggestion that Japan and South Korea should consider obtaining nuclear weapons demonstrates the Republican presidential front-runner’s lack of understanding about foreign policy and the world at large. He concluded, “We don’t want someone in the Oval Office who doesn’t recognize how important that is.”
Like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, cartoons do not reflect the real world. The real world is not The Apprentice.
Donald Jay “Don” Rickles (born May 8, 1926) is an American stand-up comedian, voice actor, and actor. Best known as an insult comic. Donald Trump (Does anyone call him Don?) seems to think Rickles is someone to emulate. Trump would be a great replacement in Las Vegas for the Rickles insult show.
Do you really want this man to be president of the United States?
Dec 22, 2015 – Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump used crude … He said schlong is a more specific and dirty word than schmuck.
February 8, 2016: At a rally on Monday night in Manchester, New Hampshire, Donald Trump repeated a woman’s shouted remark that Ted Cruz was a “pussy” for his comments about waterboarding during the previous Saturday’s Republican debate.
Following are quotes from Donald Trump.
“Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!”
Clearly Donald is a Team Edward kind of guy…
“Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”
Trump always has charming things to say about successful, prominent women – but he stooped particularly low with this comment about Huffington Post founder.
“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”
Trump proves (again) that he views a woman’s looks over anything else…
“I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
Oh for goodness sake.
“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.”
Just another casually racial slur, then…
“Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.” Don’t worry, his racist outbursts aren’t just directed at Mexico.
“If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”
Trump has infamously hated on Rosie O’Donnell, making crude, sexist and misogynistic remarks about her on multiple occasions.
“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” Because of course, no woman can resist Trump’s charms. [Throws up on keyboard]
“One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”
Well at least he’s showing some self awareness.
“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
And not that fabulous barnet of yours?
“It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”
Definitely not missing the point…
“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Possibly (/definitely) one of the creepiest things we’ve ever heard…
“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.” Ew.
“I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”
We’re glad he’s so concerned about the obesity crisis.
“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”
Women aren’t possessions, Donald. They can’t belong to you.
“You’re disgusting.”
To put this into context, Donald Trump said this to the opposing lawyer during a court case when she asked for a medical break to pump breast milk for her three-month-old daughter.
“The point is, you can never be too greedy.”
Campaign slogan = sorted.
“Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight!”
In his Twitter liveblogging of the Democratic debate, Trump seemed to think he was watching a talent show rather than looking for the next POTUS.
“My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”
We think Donald may be overestimating the power of Twitter.
“My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”
Don’t worry, we won’t.
“I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
What does that even mean?
“The other candidates — they went in, they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t work. They sweated like dogs…How are they gonna beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”
Because sweating = the inability to solve a political crisis. Gotcha.
“Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Republican rival Marco Rubio] referred to my hands: ‘If they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”
If you did not believe there is royalty in the U.S.A. you are wrong. It was the large group of people who attended Nancy Reagan’s funeral.
Who are the “A list“ people in America? It’s easy to define by seeing who attended the Nancy Reagan funeral. News reports say that there were about 1,000 people in attendance. There is no list of all attendees on the internet. Here is a list that I have found. It is a list of America’s royalty. The road to the Ronald Reagan Library, where the funeral was held, was lined with people wanting to see the royalty.
From politics:
From Hollywood:
From the media
First children:
Although Nancy Reagan was a former First Lady was she entitled to a military honor guard? She loved her husband and did everything in her power to protect him. So did my mother protecting my father and my wife protecting me. There were no honor guards at my parent’s funerals and probably not at your parents either.
Nancy Reagan deserved a funeral but I see no reason for the royal treatment.
All mothers have this quality. Some more than others, but some.
Your computer may not show the video and just provide the dialog.
Coast Contact 