A 108 Year Wait Is Over

world-series-game-7-11-2-16

The Chicago Cubs are World Series champions at long last, winning their first Fall Classic in 108 years, defeating the Cleveland Indians in 10 innings 8-7 in Game 7 at Progressive Field in Cleveland.

What added to the anticipation was a rain delay before the 10th inning could start.

That last inning was just as dramatic as the rest of the game. The Cubs made two runs thanks to the Indians fatal decision to walk two batters. The top of the inning ended with the bases were loaded. The pitcher collapses allowing one run and two men on base. Another pitcher comes in and the batter hits a grounder to the short stop, and the throw to first base gives the Cubs the last out and a wonderful and well deserved World Series win.

Halloween Stories for Fun

spooky-scary-skeletons
Links to these stories are at least entertaining. Links are from http://www.greatbigstory.com/

Death on Display: Enter the Mummy Museum

Real Ghost Stories: The Curse of Doll Island

Learning To Dance With Your Demons

Blood: It’s What’s For Dinner Flavors

Play On Words: Masks Human Condition

Welcome To The ‘Museum of Death’

How Your Tattoos Can Live on After You’re Dead

A Family Affair: Truly Revisiting the Dead

The Ghost Town Stuck in Time Frontiers

Journey Inside the Ghostly Temple of Trees Planet Earth

Searching Japan’s Ghost Island

Welcome to the Chilling Church of Bones

Welcome to the Town of the Dead

The vast right-wing conspiracy is back

Donald Trump says the reason his presidential bid is collapsing around him is the result of “a global power structure” that is out to get him. He didn’t name names  — no self-respecting secret international conspiracy would be sloppy enough to let names slip out — but he knows what they do for a living.

Corporate interests, the media … oh yeah, the media is in it big time …. and dark forces allied to the Clintons are all part of the web, which spans the globe (other than perhaps Russia, where, you know, Vladimir Putin is doing a pretty good job and, according to Trump, could be a real pal for the U.S. in fighting terrorists if he were president.)

“For those who control the levers of power in Washington, and for the global special interests, they partner with these people that don’t have your good in mind. Our campaign represents a true existential threat like they haven’t seen before,” Trump warned a rally in West Palm Beach, Florida on the weekend.

“They knew they would throw every lie they could at me and my family and my loved ones,” Trump said. “They knew they would stop at nothing to try to stop me. But I never knew, as bad as it would be, I never knew it would be this vile, that it would be this bad, that it would be this vicious.”

Obviously, given his knowledge of the secret game plan, Trump must have an informer within the conspiracy, feeding him the inside dope. And you have to admire him for making his allegation right in the heart of Dark Forces territory. Palm Beach is one of the wealthiest communities in the U.S., with an average per capita income of US$125,000. Mansions line the oceanfront, including Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s own vast 20-acre estate. You can’t have a decent international conspiracy without the funds to finance it, and you have to figure some of Trump’s own neighbours must be among the shadowy donors intent on making his life miserable. You want proof? Trump once erected an 80-foot flagpole on his front lawn, with a massive U.S. flap flapping at the top, and was told to take it down because it was too big. How anti-American is that?

As with all global conspiracies, it’s hard to put a finger on the full details of this one, but here are a few possibilities:

The vast right-wing conspiracy: In 1998 Hillary Clinton claimed “a vast right-wing conspiracy” was behind the persistent scandals dogging her and husband Bill, who was then in the midst of claiming he’d never had sex with Monica Lewinsky, except when he did. Although he wouldn’t call it sex. More, just, fooling around, you know? When you’re a star they’ll let you do anything.

It would be sort of weird for the conspiracy that tried to bring down the Clintons to now try to bring down Trump, in alliance with the Clintons of all people, but that’s what makes international evil geniuses so successful, their ability to switch sides at the drop of a hat and confuse the population.

Stephen Harper (Former Prime Minister of Canada): After he quit being prime minister, reports surfaced that Harper attended a super-secret meeting of like-minded males at Bohemian Grove, which is described as “a hyper-exclusive, men-only luxury campground in a remote section of California.” No one could figure out why he was there, since the Grovers mostly do silly stuff like putting on skits and drinking too much, which is not really Harper’s sort of thing. But now we know: He was there plotting with other Republican worthies to bring down Trump and seize control of the agenda for …. Hillary Clinton? Wait a minute, does that make sense? Probably not, but wily evil-doers are known for their malevolent ingenuity.

evil-geniuses

SPECTRE: Go on, admit it: you thought SPECTRE was just make-believe, a fictional organization invented by Ian Fleming so James Bond would have someone to battle against over the fate of the free world. Right? So how does it feel to be wrong, dummy? Only an organization so clever, so bold, so confident in its malicious intentions could be brash enough to hide in plain sight, turning fact into fiction to hide the fact of its own existence? Fortunately, Donald Trump is up to their tricks. As he revealed in Palm Beach: “There’s a whole deal going on — we’re going to figure it out. I always figure things out. But there’s a whole sinister deal going on.”

The Pope, the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderberg Group: It wouldn’t be a conspiracy without these three, which, as we all know, are secretly run by the international banking cabal controlled by the Rothschild family. Who are, you know, not Catholics. If you get my drift.

The Media: Well of course. Everyone knows the media is a cesspool of hopeless left-wingers. The New York Times, the Washington Post, the CBC, the BBC, all the U.S. networks, Anderson Cooper … we’re all in it together. In fact, I’ll admit it: as a member of the international media conspiracy, I personally get to pull the strings that make world leaders jump on command. Oh, it’s fun. You should see the look on their faces when I yank them this way or that. Pure delight.

Is there a media plot against Trump? Of course there is. And the sheer genius of it is evident in the fact that until a few months ago the media was under fire for enabling Trump’s spectacular rise and his shock triumph over a dozen other Republicans seeking the nomination, by according him vast amounts of free publicity, opening airwaves to his every utterance, failing to do its homework and dig up the dirt that is now burying him and his hopes of victory.

See? It was all part of the plot. Build him up so we could tear him down and make Hillary the president, even though Hillary hates the press, won’t give press conferences and blames the media for 25 years of Clinton scandals. Excuse me a moment while I cackle.

National Post (Canadian), author Kelly McParland | October 17, 2016 12:45 PM ET

Blackish

https://twitter.com/hashtag/blackish?lang=en

#Blackish is literally the funniest show ok tv. No lie … I had to explain to my 76 yr old mother that #Blackish was kinda like the reverse of Archie Bunker.

I just don’t agree. It seems to be an effort to an updated version of “The Cosby Show.” That was a comedy that centered on the lives of the Huxtables: obstetrician Cliff and his lawyer wife Claire, their daughters Sondra, Denise, Vanessa and Rudy, and son Theo.

There is no comparison. Blackish tries to confront issues of a successful black family in Sherman Oaks. That is an upscale neighborhood in Los Angeles.

This is not a program I watch with any frequency. I did tonight as the program confronted a White 4 year old child on an elevator alone, going to a meeting of White home owners association and being stopped by the police while driving home without a driver’s license. The father Dre Johnson (Anthony Anderson) runs away from the police when he is stopped on the way home. That is not funny and there is no explanation about how he gets home without being stopped by the police. Not funny!

This program is trying to address serious issues using comedy. Frankly, in my opinion, it fails.

Employee Notice for Old People. VERY CLEVER??

Employee Notice For Old People ..

 

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

 

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

 

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

 

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

 

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

 

Persons who have been  RAPED could get AIDS  (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES  (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

 

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

 

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT  (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

 

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

 

Sincerely,

 

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

 

PS – Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

Author Unkown

We Didn’t Get the Sarcasm

NEW YORK, NY - JANUARY 05: Donald Trump attends the "Celebrity Apprentice" Red Carpet Event at Trump Tower on January 5, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Mike Pont/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY – JANUARY 05: Donald Trump attends the “Celebrity Apprentice” Red Carpet Event at Trump Tower on January 5, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Mike Pont/FilmMagic)

It was all a big joke.

Donald Trump didn’t really mean he would build the greatest wall along the Mexican border.

Mexicans aren’t all thieves and rapists.

Trump doesn’t really want to stop all Muslim immigration.

Trump doesn’t really want to renegotiate NAFTA.

Trump doesn’t really intend to deport all illegal aliens.

Trump actually thinks TPP is a great idea.

NATO is an important treaty.

Putin is not our friend. He has never met him.

Barack Obama was born in Hawaii.

Trump really does not want to be president of the United States.

You are all fired for believing his sarcasm.

“Why the hell can’t you take a joke?”

Mel Brooks at 90 Years Old

Mel Brooks at 90

COMEDY GOD
Mel Brooks Looks Back: ‘Blazing Saddles’ Could Never Get Made Today

The 90-year-old comedy master opens up about his upcoming ‘Blazing Saddles’ event at Radio City Music Hall, political correctness, and the state of comedy today.

Craig Modderno, Daily Beast

 

08.20.16 10:35 PM ET

In a world gone mad, Mel Brooks, now 90, is determined to get people back on his laugh track. Earlier this year, members of the Writers’ Guild of America voted for the 101 funniest screenplays of all time. Brooks was the only writer to have three scripts he wrote or co-wrote in the top 12: his Oscar-winning original screenplay for The Producers, Blazing Saddles, and Young Frankenstein.

On September 1st at New York’s Radio City Music Hall, after a screening of Blazing Saddles, Brook will discuss why the classic western sendup is still a riot 42 years after its theatrical debut. If that weren’t enough, a coffee table book of Young Frankenstein will debut this fall.

Brooks is one of precious few to capture the EGOT, taking home Emmy, Tony Grammy, and Academy Awards. Like Don Rickles, Tony Bennett, and his close friend Carl Reiner, who co- created the 2000 Year Old Man bits, Brooks represents an era of show business that will pass when they do. But until that day comes, this old man river of laughs just keeps rollin’ on.

What did Warner Bros. executives think when they first saw Blazing Saddles?

Mel Brooks: They wanted to bury me and the film. The head of distribution told the owners not to release the picture but they only did because it was already booked in theaters and they didn’t have a picture they could replace it with. Only John Calley, an extremely filmmaker-friendly executive at the studio, championed it. The rest of the executives wouldn’t acknowledge me on the lot even when Blazing Saddles became a huge money maker.”

Why did they hate the film so much?

I actually got notes from the studio head in vivid detail who said, “Lose the fart scene, cut out any racial and ethnic jokes, edit scenes where a horse and an old lady get punched,” and my favorite note: “Can you reshoot Black Bart with a white actor?” If I had made their changes the film would have been just 14 minutes long! I stupidly threw all their notes in the trash. Imagine the book I could have written on them today. Then I had a screening on the lot for anyone who worked there, so the executives couldn’t think I was faking the results. The screening proved everything the big shots hated was funny beyond belief, and yet the big shots didn’t believe the comic tastes of their own employees. I only got my first royalty check recently, which meant it took all these years to show a profit. Hopefully my next check will be in three figures!

And Richard Pryor, of course, was your first choice for Black Bart.

The studio didn’t want him because they said he was unreliable due to his personal problems. I fought hard for Richard and was going to quit the film but he told me not to because he needed his screenwriter fees to pay his mortgage. Then we had a long and expensive search to find the right actor for his part. When Cleavon Little auditioned, Richard was in the room and gave me a signal that he was our man!

What other help did Pryor give you on Blazing Saddles?

When I was getting so much pressure to change the script due to it being offensive to blacks, Pryor stuck behind the work. He said the script, which three other people wrote besides us, was hilarious and if it was compromised in any way then we weren’t going to make the movie we all believed in.

But didn’t you cut one big line from the final edit?

Yes. For some weird reason, and I still can’t explain why… well, there’s a scene in Madeline Kahn’s dark dressing room where she’s below frame making Cleavon very happy. She tells him with satisfaction how big he is, and his initial response, which I cut, was: “You’re sucking on my arm!”

What’s the biggest misconception about Blazing Saddles?

That we shot it in black and white, then we later colored each frame with big crayons.

Do you think Blazing Saddles would ever get made in politically correct 2016? 

No!

How do you feel about Hillary and Trump running for president in 2016?

I don’t do political humor. It’s too passé.

Who makes you laugh today?

Dave Chappelle, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Maya Rudolph, Zach Galifianakis, Louis C.K., Melissa McCarthy, and Harpo Marx.

What have you learned about pitching projects in today’s Hollywood?

Never go to a studio executive’s office. If you go there, you have a big NO awaiting you. If they come to your office, you’ve got a 50/50 chance for a green-light for your project.

What was your most unusual pitch meeting?

I went to Alan Ladd, Jr., who was running Fox at the time, and pitched him Silent Movie. Even though Young Frankenstein had made him a lot of money, Laddie was very reluctant to do the picture. He said between the slapstick in that film and a non-talkie, it seemed like I really wanted to return to vaudeville, so he said no. I quickly told him I could get Anne Bancroft, Liza Minnelli, Dom DeLuise, Marty Feldman, Marcel Marceau, Paul Newman, and Burt Reynolds, who was the hottest star in Hollywood at the time. I was lying of course, like I’m doing to you now, but Laddie said he’d make the picture if I got all of them. Newman loved the idea of driving a go-kart and not having any dialogue to memorize. I paid Reynolds $25,000 for a day’s work and then told him I need him for three more days. Burt was having fun taking a shower with Dom, me, and Marty in the film, of course, I think—so he stuck around.

Didn’t you have a strange meeting when you tried to pitch Young Frankenstein to Columbia Pictures?

The short version is they wanted to make it but wanted to make it for two million dollars less than its small budget—money Fox made just on the 40th anniversary DVD. My last words at the meeting were, “And we’re going to make it in black and white.” As I’m walking down the hall I realized I was being chased by thirty executives telling me I had no green-light if I wanted to make it in black and white. And this was when Blazing Saddles was making millions of dollars daily, money that somehow disappeared immediately when I asked Warner Brothers when I would receive a royalty check.

With truly unlimited source material, why didn’t you ever make a sequel to History of the World: Part I?

Nobody asked me to. The film made good money. I’d enjoy doing a sequel to that and Spaceballs. There’s still so much you can satirize in both movies.

Do you feel any of your pictures are underrated?

The Twelve Chairs. It was a nice, sweet film with a funny performance by Dom DeLuise—his best, I believe, other than when my wife Anne Bancroft directed him in Fatso. My favorite film nobody saw is Life Stinks. I play a multimillionaire who makes a bet with a peer that he can survive on the streets as a homeless person. You root for this guy and you laugh with him, not at him. You know, basically all my films are about greed versus humanity. I never want people to leave one of my productions feeling depressed. If you come out of the play The Producers humming “Springtime for Hitler” and having a smile on your face, then I’m a happy man. Do you realize the last time I was at Radio City Music Hall was when The Producers won more Tonys than any play in history?! That place is bigger than some New England states. I’m going to be there with Blazing Saddles September 1st. I may be a 2,000-year-old man but I can still see empty seats. Since I’m not getting paid for this fantastic interview I’m giving you, then do your best to help me fill those seats. Is that too subtle?!

OK, but only if you answer one final question: Is it true that Dustin Hoffman was going to receive his first starring role in The Producers?

YES! Dustin came to my house late one night and threw pebbles at the windows of my upstairs apartment. Even then I knew better not to eat with an actor or give them my phone number. Dustin told me he had to drop out of my film, a movie I had spent years trying to get financing for, because he was going to Los Angeles to star in The Graduate. I yelled at him so loud it woke up my fellow renters. I screamed, “You mean you’re deserting me to spend the summer in Hollywood making love to the love of my life [Bancroft]?” Then I gave him my blessing by adding, “Good choice!”

Trump: ‘I’m afraid the election’s going to be rigged’

Donald Trump is correct.  The elections are rigged.  It’s not the popular vote that wins the election.  It’s the electors who choose the president.  With the exception of Nebraska and Maine each state awards all the electors to the winner of the state.  It is a decision made by each state.  In other words even if Trump won 45% of the popular vote in California and Clinton won 55%, all 55 electors would be awarded to Clinton.  Does Trump understand the system?  That system is written into the constitution.

Donald Trump reminds me of Captain Queeg. You remember! “The Caine Mutiny” is a 1951 Pulitzer Prize–winning novel by Herman Wouk.  Humphrey Bogart starred.

Caine Mutiny – Capt. Queeg Loses It

  

 

The news item

Columbus, Ohio (CNN) Donald Trump on Monday took his complaints about the “rigged” political system one step further.

 “I’m afraid the election’s going to be rigged. I have to be honest,” Trump told voters in Ohio, a crucial swing state.

Trump’s comments Monday came as he decried Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders for endorsing Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary, even as some Sanders supporters have continued to resist unifying behind the nominee. Trump has sought to siphon off Sanders supporters and draw them to his campaign.

 

Trump added that he has heard “more and more” that the November election will be rigged — suggesting to his supporters that the outcome of the election is out of the hands of voters.

 Trump during the primary repeatedly slammed the “rigged system” he claimed was working against his campaign to capture the Republican nomination for president. He then pivoted to using that language to decry the nomination process on the left, accusing the Democratic Party of colluding with the Clinton campaign to keep Sanders from winning that party’s nomination.

 

Trump’s comments during the primary bolstered the impression that Trump, a political outsider, was leading the charge against a corrupt political system.

But his latest comments could hurt Trump’s general election campaign as his supporters might decide not to turn out to vote if the election is already “rigged” against their candidate.

Trump continued with the “rigged” theme during a Monday night interview on Fox News. Appearing on “Hannity,” the Republican nominee suggested the potential for foul play in November. Trump pointed to the 2012 presidential election as a cause for concern.

“I’ve been hearing about it for a long time,” Trump said. “And I know last time, there were — you had precincts where there was practically nobody voting for the Republican. And I think that’s wrong. I think that was unfair, frankly” for 2012 GOP nominee Mitt Romney.

“I’m telling you, November 8, we’d better be careful, because that election is going to be rigged,” Trump added. “And I hope the Republicans are watching closely or it’s going to be taken away from us.”

The Zoo

Given the state of the world a little levity seems appropriate.

 

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down……

 

 

The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?”

 

 

“Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?”

 

 

 

 

“Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.”

 

 

 

“I’d be happy to,” said the blonde.

 

 

So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.

 

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!  There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.

 

With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, “I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!”

“Yes, I know you did,” said the blonde. “But we had money left over so now we’re going to Sea World.”