Is this a real plot or is this the work of Youtube entertainers? The link was at the end of a photo collection. The person sending me the photos apparently did not realize there is link at the end of the string of photographs. Amazon is selling a copyrighted book titled “Internment And Resettlement Operations: Army Field Manual FM 3-39.40” for $10.80. That would make this scary video a great sales tool.
Or is this real?
Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians, figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.
1 . Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
7. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.”
11. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
16. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
17. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
18. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
19. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
20. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
21. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
22. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
23. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Finally:
I’m supposed to respect my elders, but now a days it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.
Thanksgivukkah: A Mash Of Two Holidays That’s Easy To Relish.
Hannukah and Thanksgiving in the USA coincide once again in 76,000 years or something like that.
What’s wrong with Thanukkah?
The constant negativity in this world demands we get a few laughs. These gems might help for a minute or two. They were e-mailed to me so go ahead and share them if you wish.
While I sat in the reception area of my doctor’s office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist’s desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother’s lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man’s, he said, “I know how you feel. My Mom makes me ride in the stroller too.”
*****
As I was nursing my baby, my cousin’s six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, “My mom has some of those, but I don’t think she knows how to use them.”
*****
Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. “In ten years,” I said, “you’ll want to be with your friends and you won’t go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.
Carolyn shrugged. “In ten years you’ll be too old to do all those things anyway.”
******
Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her injection.
“No, no, no!” she screamed.
“Lizzie,” scolded her mother, “that’s not polite behavior.”
With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you! No, thank you!”
******
On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, “Dad, I know babies come from mommie’s tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?”
After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, “You don’t have to make up something, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer.”
*****
Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. “I’m going to be away for a long time,” I told him. “I’m going to Iraq.”
“Why?” he asked. “Don’t you know there’s a war going on over there?”
*****
Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood diseases. One afternoon, he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn’t know Newman was a famous movie star, explained, “That’s the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you’ve seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle?”
Blank stares.
“Well, you’ve probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.”
An eight-year-old girl perked up. “How long was he missing?”
*****
And my personal favorite…
God’s Problem Now!
His wife’s graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.”
Keep a SMILE on your face ~ And a SONG in your heart!
A smile – is a sign of joy.
A hug – is a sign of love.
A laugh – is a sign of happiness.
And a friend like me? – Well that’s just a sign of good taste!
We’ll be friends until I am senile.
Then we’ll be NEW friends
The mouse that scored
By Al Martinez | November 1, 2013 12:05 AM | From LA Observed
There has been much ado on Facebook this week over a comment attributed to Sarah Palin that Jesus Christ had celebrated Easter during his time on Earth, even though just about everyone knows he was crucified three days before what became Easter. Ridicule, animosity, name-calling, hatred and other misanthropic adjectives darkened cyberspace when the story appeared, even after it was disclosed that the report was a fictional piece published in a satirical blog called the Daily Currant.
I, of course, as a registered Weeping Liberal, joined right in using terms like “horse’s rear end” and “stupid baby ass,” my granddaughter’s phrase, to describe the unfortunate woman who, shudder, aspires to become president of the United States someday. Then I checked out the Currant story, discovered its satirical intent and placed the truth on FB, but was told to “rot in hell’ and the animosity continued anyhow and is still sputtering away.
Is this My Country Tis of Thee or God Bless the Queen?
With a little Photoshop this ad can appear on
American television.
This is really amazing!
Barry Bonds was a sports hero but he has not played baseball since 2007. He holds many baseball records. He was charged with using performance enhancing steroids. He has been accused of using those steroids as early as 2000.
Bonds is not the only sports figure accused of using performance drugs. Lance Armstrong, winner of the Tour de France seven times. He does not deny using drugs.
There is little point in listing all of the sports personalities who have been accused of using drugs. The issue is winning and making big money.
Money is the driving force. Owners of professional teams are aware that there is the use of drugs. It is not a new occurrence. This has been happening for many years.
So what is new about the Alex Rodriquez suspension? He is quoted as saying, “I am disappointed with the penalty and intend to appeal and fight this through the process.” No denial! The Yankees? They are permitting him to play tonight.
You want me to attend baseball games? You want me to support drug use?
Shame on the players. Shame on the owners.
Just this past December everyone was talking about the killing at Newtown, Connecticut. Then there were the Marathon Bombers. And just two days ago there were hundreds of parades and demonstrations over the George Zimmerman verdict.
I was certain that “Justice for Trayvon Martin” would not be easily forgotten. But the birth of a new prince in England has pushed everything off the front page. Even “Hardball with Chris Matthews” devoted his entire program to the birth.
So my question is, How important are the daily stories presented in the news? The media wants us to believe that the current story really is the consequential event. They keep feeding us with a non-stop flow of tragedy and drama that suits their need to obtain advertising revenue. And what does the public do? We watch and listen to every bit of information no matter how trivial.
The newspapers are not much better than television and radio. Washington Post’s front page article “For some, a drive across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge is a harrowing experience” may be interesting to some people but is this a front page story? The Los Angeles Times Column One story “The NRA newest Sensation” tells of a Black man who is also a member of the organization. Both stories might be interesting to some people but is this front page news? To me it is trivial events that have little bearing on anyone other than their immediate families and maybe not even them.
Is it any wonder that so many of us have turned off the news broadcasts and canceled our newspapers?
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